God Bless You, Jake and Rosemary!

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[Our last Munger Sunday together, Pentecost 2022.]

 

Today is the last Munger Sunday on staff for Jake Porter and Rosemary Cole.

Jake (who is preaching today) was on the Munger staff for 9 1/2 years. Rosey was on staff for 6 years.

I am so grateful for them both and hate that I can’t be there today to thank them in person.

The challenge for me is not knowing what to say about them, the challenge is to keep it brief!

Jake Porter is a man of complete integrity. I’d like to apply to him what Jesus says about Nathaniel in John 1—”a man in whom there is no deceit.” I know no one more ready to be honest about himself. He loves the Lord, his family, his church, and his friends is a whole-hearted way. He will readily take a burden on himself in order to bless someone else.

Rosemary Cole is a woman whom I completely trust. She was my assistant and I can’t say anything better than this: when she was meeting or talking or corresponding with someone on my behalf, I knew that that person would feel valued, respected, and preferred. Working with her was a precious gift! She is a modest, humble, background player who only wants to make other people better.

 
 

Well done, friends. I am so grateful for you. Your constant kindness to me made my life sweeter.

 
 
“Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.”
— 1 Thessalonians 2:8
 

The Most Important Least Important Things

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Jurgen Klopp, manager of Liverpool Football Club in England, said last year that [sports are] “the most important of the least important things.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about that statement these days. I doubt I’m the only one who finds himself just bone weary of the constant culture war arguments to which all things are currently reduced by the algorithms and editors that we allow to control us these days. The sense that EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT AND AN OUTRAGE AND YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION TO IT AND MUST HAVE THE (CORRECT) OPINION ABOUT IT AND IF YOU DO NOT YOU ARE THE PROBLEM just wears a man down. It was there in the early Obama years, but I felt it increase during the second Obama administration (no doubt rising in direct proportion to the spread of the smartphone) until it reached a rolling boil during the Trump administration until (and I wouldn’t have believed it possible) it has become like a pressure cooker during this pandemic.

As I’ve been preaching recently, however, I’m out. I’ve over it. I’m taking back my attention and my heart and my focus from the howling voices that demand I respond to them. It’s not that the issues we’re fighting about don’t matter, it’s that I no longer want to cede my attention to the control of the howling voices. I want to decide when to react, when to be outraged, when to be obsessed.

And so I’ve been thinking recently about where I direct my attention on my own terms.

I’ve been thinking, therefore, about “the most important least important things”.

 
 

Thank God for the NBA

I think our obsession with sports can be unhealthy and idolatrous, and yet these days I’ve come to really appreciate the arguments and petty obsessions that are part of being a sports fan.

I’ll go further:

Thank you God for the NBA!

 
 

Yes, sports won’t stop the plague, they won’t cure cancer, they won’t get the right person elected, they won’t fix our city streets.

But you know what they do accomplish? They offer us a safe place to be obsessive, a safe place to have heated arguments when nothing is at stake, a place to channel the passion and intensity that come along with human nature.

 
 

Stephen A. Cuts My Hair

The place where I go for a haircut has sports channels blaring all day long, and most of that time they aren’t showing live sports, but rather what “30 Rock” called “sports shouting” shows—the ones where they just yell and argue (look up Stephen A. Smith on YouTube for a million examples). All those shows used to annoy me.

 
 
 

(See 30 Rock’s version of “Sports Shouting” 3:23-3:31 in the above clip. Such a funny sitcom—I miss it.)

 
 

Nowadays, I Much Prefer “Sports Shouting” and “Cookiejar Enthusiast”, Thank You Very Much

Nowadays, however, I think I’m grateful for the pointless arguments and petty obsessions that make up shows like “Sports Shouting”. Long may they continue. In fact, I think one of the purposes of civilization is to permit men and women to devote their energies to “unimportant” things like sports and all the other most important least important things we care about, like dog shows and garage bands and dollhouse-collecting and bridge tournaments and arguments over which scope on which hunting rifle firing which type of ammunition would be best to take down an elk at 400 yards in high elevation.

I’ve called the examples above “unimportant”, but that’s not really accurate, is it? Those examples are not unimportant because they are things that we care about and for which we use our God-given creativities. Yes, the examples above might not all be life-and-death and they may not speak to the immigration crisis at the border or how to pass the infrastructure bill or how to cure cancer, but I actually think the point of life is to not have to constantly think about the point of life.

It seems to me that one of the characteristics of a healthy, prosperous civilization is that men and women have the energy to direct at “unimportant” things, rather than worrying about how to make it through the next winter. In light of starvation, a sonnet seems frivolous, but I’m wondering if frivolity—in the highest sense—is one of the purposes of Creation.

 
 

After all, Jesus told us to consider the lilies, and what could be less relevant to our current crises than that?

 
 
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Some Of My Most Important Least Important Things

Above is a screenshot of the front-page of today’s Sports section from The Dallas Morning News, which I look at most days. (I’m old-fashioned and get both the paper delivered and use the e-paper app, which I love.) I like reading about the Cowboys, I like talking to other people about the Cowboys, and I like listening to local talk radio talk about the Cowboys. None of it matters, but I like thinking about it:

  • How did everyone else miss on Dak when he came out of Mississippi State?

  • How did Jerry get two great quarterbacks in a row that no one else thought were good enough?

  • Is Zeke finally going to justify his huge contract this year? Etc.

 
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I also like reading about and watching English soccer, which my brother and I started following on a low budget highlight show on a local sports channel in about 1993. We’d come home from school and tape it on our VCR. I’ve been an inconsistent fan at times in these last nearly 30 years (thirty years (!)—time moves so quickly), but I’ve been much more attentive these last several years, particularly because of the availability of NBC’s Saturday morning Premier League coverage. I like listening to podcasts—especially Men in Blazers—and following the soap opera of the season.

  • Can Pep succeed without a true “number 9”?

  • Does Ole have what it takes?

  • Does the return of Ronaldo actually make Man United a worse team? Etc.

 
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And though I don’t actually care about the NBA much at all, I’m still grateful for it (even when I find its deliberate embrace of woke politics grating). Sometimes it’s just good for us to care about tall men putting a round ball in a metal ring.

 
 

When Most Important and Most Important Least Important Collide

Yesterday, my most important and some of my most important least important loves came together in a lovely way. We went as a family to the last Rangers game of the season—our first time to the new ballpark in Arlington.

 
 

A very generous family in church gave us amazing seats—3 rows behind home plate—it was a beautiful Texas Indian summer afternoon under a blue sky, the roof was open—it is a marvel to behold it slide open along its massive rails— and the entire afternoon was a delight.

The Rangers lost 6-0 despite my daughter’s applause for “our team”, and since it’s been a miserable losing season for Texas, nothing hung on the outcome.

Or maybe that’s the wrong way to look at it.

See, I got to sit with my family and focus on something together in the brief time we have before my children are grown and gone, in the brief time before all of this is gone, me included. Maybe the most important least important things are God’s way of pointing us to what’s actually important. See, I’ve come to believe that this may be the purpose behind God’s gift to us of the most important least important things:

They give us an excuse to just sit and be and love.

 
 
“Consider the lilies....”
— Jesus of Nazareth
 
 

So, what are some of your most important least important things?

 

How to Parent During a Pandemic

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First disclaimer: I don’t know anything. Not only am I not a parenting expert, I’m not even the best parent in my house! But, I am trying to figure this out just like you, so I humbly offer some thoughts below.

Second disclaimer: I am a Christian, and so my advice will obviously come from a faith-based perspective. But, because I believe God created families and that all happy families are alike, I think the advice below should broadly apply to any family in these times. And, if your family isn’t religious, now is a good time to begin to question your previous assumptions.

 
 

Put Your Oxygen Mask On First - Focus On Your Spiritual Life First

As parents, we MUST cultivate our own spiritual life first, before anything else. The most important thing we have to offer our children is a non-anxious presence. In a time of fear, it is important that we give peace to our children, but we can only give it if we have it.

Now is the time for us to rise early in the morning to pray and be still. Now is the time for us to read our Bibles daily. Now—more than ever—is the time for us to resist the urge to reach for our phones first thing in the morning before we’ve done our time in silence, prayer, and scripture.

Parents, our commitment to the daily disciplines of the Christian life is what will take us through this crisis.

If you are not practicing the actions above, you need to start.

 
 

Tell Your Kids The (Partial) Truth - Do Not Ever Lie

Our children need to be able to trust us, and the cultivation of trust is one of parenting’s essential responsibilities. Therefore, it is vital that we do not lie to our children.

  • Do not say that they are definitely going back to school;

  • Do not say that no one we know will get sick;

  • Do not say that their birthday parties are definitely going to happen as planned;

  • etc.

An entirely appropriate response to our kids’ questions is, “We don’t really know at this point.”

It is also entirely appropriate to share the partial truth with children. They don’t need to know everything, but they do need to hear the truth from us. Knowing what to tell them and what to withhold requires wisdom, of course, which is why it’s so important that we cultivate our own spiritual lives. See above.

Some examples:

Don’t say: No one we know is going to die.

Do say: Jesus tells us not to be afraid, even of death. If someone we love dies, we will see them again in Christ.

Don’t say: Your birthday party will be fine.

Do say: We will definitely find some way to celebrate your party.

Don’t say: Everything will be okay.

Do say: People have made it through—and thrived in!—much harder things before.

 
 

Give Your Kids a Daily and Weekly Schedule and Rhythm

Routine gives children (and adults!) something in which to trust. Even though all of our kids are now homeschoolers, this new reality doesn’t mean they don’t need clear bedtimes, breakfasttimes, lunchtimes, and playtimes.

Some suggestions:

Bookend your days with prayer. I will be leading a live online prayer service at 7 AM and 7 PM, M-F. (The service will last no longer than 15 minutes.) Please join.

Make every Sunday a celebration. Every Sunday is Easter, and you should worship and celebrate as such in your house. [Need a place to go for online worship? We’d love to have you join us at Munger.]

Celebrate and observe special days. Make sure that birthdays and anniversaries and national holidays and special days of the Christian year (Good Friday, Easter, Pentecost, etc.) are somehow different in your house.

 
 

Pray Together

I realize that many of us feel totally inadequate and uncomfortable in leading our families in prayer. Guess what? Get over it. We don’t have the luxury of those emotions any more.

My suggestion: get the whole family to kneel together at the side of the bed before bedtime. Read a psalm and give God thanks for the day.

 
 

Play With Your Children—ESPECIALLY Dads and Kids

Playing with our kids—particularly if it involves us getting down on the floor with them—is one of the ways we increase their trust in us. When we actively join in their play, it makes them feel safe and secure.

This is true for both moms and dads, but I think it is especially important that fathers spend time playing with their kids.

(I realize that some of us are single mothers, and I know that you are doing the best you can. Don’t give up!)

As a father who’s been sequestered at home this past week, it has been very easy for me to work all day long and, though my kids are close, not really spend any time with them outside of meals. And yet I know that when I take time to deliberately join their games, I see an immediate difference in my children’s demeanors.

If you have not played much with your children before, now is the time to start.

 
 

Let There Be An Embargo on Virus Talk During Dinner

Our kids need a respite from our (understandable) obsession with virus news. Keep the dinner hour free from pandemic palaver.

(This one has been hard for me!)

 
 

Practice Bottom-Up Thinking

Top Down Thinking: We start with the idea of PERFECTION and then look at our circumstances—we’ll be miserable.

Bottom-Up Thinking: We start with the idea of NOTHING and then look at our circumstances—we’ll see how much we have for which to be grateful.

As wealthy Americans, we are experts at Top Down Thinking, but it isn’t helpful. It’s time for us to learn another way, and teach it to our kids.

 
 

These next months will be the most formative in our children’s lives. How we parent our children during this time will determine whether they grow unto adulthood strengthened or weakened because of this pandemic. I know that’s a lot of responsibility! But, it’s true.

Here’s the good news: Parents have raised children literally in every single situation in human history. Our grandparents and great grandparents lived through the Great Depression and the Second World War, and they were strong because of those difficulties, not in spite of them.

It will be difficult to parent during this pandemic, but we can do it!